Discipleship: Responding to God’s Grace in Our Relationships
God’s grace toward us includes not just forgiveness, but also his generosity in giving us many other things. How do we respond to God’s grace?
One way that we respond is by being gracious to others, in our families, neighborhoods, and workplaces. If we are going to live with God forever, we will also be living with each other forever. We were designed not for eternal isolation, but for living together and interacting with one another. Life’s greatest joys come in our relationships with other people.
Life’s greatest hurts come from other people, too. So if eternal life is going to be happy, we need to learn to get along with people without hurting them. The essential ingredient we need is love. The most important commandment, Jesus said, is to love God, and the second-most-important command is, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31).
If we want to be like Jesus, we need to love people—even people who are hard to love. Jesus set the example for us, coming to die even for the people who hated him. As most parents know, love means a willingness to be inconvenienced – it means setting aside our own concerns to take care of the needs of others. Love is much more than good feelings—it must also include good actions.
Willing to serve
God is good not because he is powerful, but because he always uses his power to help others. We praise people who risk their lives to save others; we do not praise people who had the power but did not use it. We admire self-sacrifice, not selfishness.
Jesus came to serve, not to lord it over people (Matthew 20:28). He told his disciples they should not be like power-hungry rulers, but should set an example by helping people. “Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). Jesus shows us what the Father is like (John 14:9)—not just what he was like 2,000 years ago, but what he is like all the time.
True greatness is not in power, but in service. God sets the example; so does Jesus. The meaning of life is not in having authority, but in helping other people. That is the only way that eternal life is going to be enjoyable for everyone.
Jesus set many examples of helping others. A special one happened the evening before his crucifixion. He washed the 12 disciples’ feet as a lesson in humility and service. “I have set you an example,” he said, “that you also should do as I have done to you” (John 13:15). Don’t consider yourself too important to kneel down and help somebody. Leaders in the church should be servants.
Paul said we should “through love become enslaved to one another” (Galatians 5:13). “Bear one another’s burdens,” he wrote, “and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). “Do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).
If we are selfish, we will never be satisfied, but if we serve, we will find it self-rewarding. We are more satisfied when we help than when we take. Jesus told us this because most people think the opposite.
“In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:10-11). If we want to be like Jesus, if we want to have a meaningful life, then we will help others, and be gracious to them.
Serving in the church
One way that we help others is by participating in a community of believers—a church. No church is perfect, just like no person is perfect, but God planned for the church to help us on our journey with Jesus. The church teaches us about Jesus, reminds us of his grace and promises, and gives us opportunities to worship together. The church helps us keep our life purpose in focus.
The church also gives us opportunities to be patient and to forgive others. We may not like these “opportunities,” but they still help us learn to be more like Jesus. Paul reminds us of the example we follow:
- “Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13).
- “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Educators know that we learn by listening, but we learn much more when we participate. Jesus taught his disciples not just in words, and not just in his example, but also by giving them work to do. “He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick” (Luke 9:2). After his resurrection, he again assigned them work: “You will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8). They learned as they went.
If we want to be like Jesus, we need to get involved in his work. He left it to us, not because we could do a better job than anyone else, but because it is good for us to be involved. We will learn more, and be changed more, by participating in his mission.
Relationships of grace
We are saved by grace, not by our works. God sent Jesus to die for us, and he forgives us, not because of what we do, but because of his mercy.
If God is like that, and we were born to be like God, what does this say about our relationships with one another? It changes everything!
If we follow Jesus, grace should fill our families, our friendships and our workplaces. Being like Jesus means that we are not always demanding to get our own way. We are not bragging about ourselves or insulting others. Paul describes the results of God at work in our lives: “The fruit of [God’s] Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).
- “Outdo one another in showing honor,” Paul writes (Romans 12:10).
- “Live in harmony with one another” (verse 16).
- “Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:1-2).
- “Encourage one another and build up each other…. Always seek to do good to one another and to all” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 15).
Husbands, how would it make a difference in the way you treat your wife? (See Ephesians 5:25.) Wives, how would it affect you? (See verse 22.) Those who are employed, how would it affect your work? (See Ephesians 6:5-8.)
We all start out unlike Jesus. We start as sinners, as enemies of God, as selfish, self-seeking people. But that is what we need to be saved from, to be rescued from. A lot of changing needs to happen.
If we are to be like Jesus, our relationships may have to change a lot. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. It takes time, so we need patience with the process, both in ourselves and in others. We need faith that God will finish the work he has started in us.
Author: Joseph Tkach, updated 2025